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Living for others while thinking of yourself

Written by: Aridio F.R.

If we wanted to count the thoughts that go through our head throughout a day, it would be complicated. Well, it is logical to think that among 70,000 daily thoughts, the largest proportion, the winning part will be our needs.
Our own joys, our own tastes, our own problems (let’s not forget them), in short, we will think more of ourselves than of anything else. It makes sense to think so, at least.
Afterwards, possibly an important parcel of thoughts goes towards our loved ones. Couple, family, children, friends. Pending tasks for them, exclusive conflicts and ruminations for each person.
And of course, we will still have «a small parcel» left to think about useless, mundane and everyday topics such as: «How bad is that girl’s hair» or «the damn television program is making me nervous, change it once and for all». Everyday things…

When we spend more time with others than with ourselves

It has been proven that the time that our mind dedicates to the rest of the world sometimes turns out to be too much in relation to the time that we might need.
Let’s say that sometimes, our brain, our mind or our will itself are surprised without space, being this one occupied by things that are foreign to us and that can even escape our control.
«Could what I said hurt you?», «It’s my fault, I should have acted differently», or the best: «I’m selfish, once you ask me for help…».
Totally negative phrases that make us feel bad by making us “see” that we have been bad, or at least not good enough towards another person. Thoughts not dedicated to ourselves, in our defense, but to others.
It is incredible the capacity that we human beings have to enunciate in our mind phrases like the ones mentioned, which have their repercussions on an emotional level.

Overthinking others has emotional repercussions

It could be thought that in the same way, they are completely inevitable. There are millions of arguments that validate that we feel this way. But how many are there who defend us?

The educational messages of our childhood

The reality is that throughout our lives we are continuously exposed to educational messages such as: «you have to share» or «do good for others» or «do everything possible to make others happy»…
They are educational messages because we are fed with these messages during childhood. It seems that when we are little we need this type of message to create our own values ​​later. But they really have several limitations for the adult person:
-In the first place, they are orders. They are not simple phrases: I know, you have to… They are not suggestions. Therefore, it is as if we were forced to be a certain way.
«Educate your child with suggestions», some may think. We are no longer children. We can modify, reflect on those orders. Discuss them.
Who decides whether to do «good» or not, if not us? Who decides whether or not to share our resources, but us?
-Secondly, they are dichotomous orders. That is, «you have to share» (because if you don’t, you won’t be good). «Do good to others» (or you won’t be good either, you will be bad) and «do everything possible for others to be happy» (or you will be selfish).
They do not give space to be “a little selfish”. All or nothing. Good or bad. Perhaps the question is, is there no grey?
-And finally, subjectivity. No one has ever written what exactly it means to be «good,» «selfish,» or «altruistic.»

Where is a rule written so that we can consider ourselves selfish? How many times do we have to look for ourselves and not for the rest? Is it bad to be?
The Romans used the word egoism to express the «practice of the self.»

Think of you, be your priority

After all, everyone has their own version of the terms, and we all try to see each other in a way that we are the good guys.
We rationalize, we argue, or we assume the role of bad guys, and we punish ourselves, hoping to do penance for that enormous wrong we have committed. And it is logical. After all, we are the protagonists of our stories.
From time to time, we find ourselves unintentionally trapped in a logic that does nothing but harm us. And we see ourselves giving away time, resources and strength to people who seem to have no other purpose in life than to crush us.
And we can not stop. We fear the negative consequences. We are terrified of moving away from the supposed path that has been marked out for us.
Reflect and rationalize these thoughts; These messages, calmly and calmly, can be the exercise that our human condition most appreciates.
That small space of time in which after reflecting it dawns on us “Hey, maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe I need the time for me. You may not want to share with anyone right now. Maybe I should be selfish.»
Perhaps being selfish is justified. Maybe being selfish just means loving each other a little.

The contents of The Mind is Wonderful are written for informational and educational purposes only. They are not a substitute for professional diagnosis, advice or treatment. If in doubt, it is advisable to consult a trusted specialist.

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¿Cuál es tu clima favorito?

Seven reasons why spring is the best season of the year

Spring has something special. It is, without a doubt, the light at the end of the tunnel. And it is that after 88 days and 23 hours of bad weather in the form of rain, cold, gray skies, snow and wind, the arrival of the second season of the year is appreciated. Although it may seem silly, nothing could be further from the truth: daylight hours begin to win out over night, blue begins to prevail in the firmament, rain begins a temporary truce -although it is already known that «in April, thousand waters»- and the flowers begin to flood landscapes, parks and streets. And so, with all these changes insistently knocking on the door, comes the big question: why is spring one of the favorite seasons for almost everyone – except, perhaps, allergy sufferers-?
holiday synonym
Easter is just around the corner. And with it, the spring holidays of the year for all those lucky enough to have a week of days off. For those who do not, they will be able to enjoy the first eight days of peace in the city.

Bad teacher

¿Qué docente te marcó más en la vida? ¿Por qué?

who is a primary school teacher, has recounted a real scene that she has experienced in her educational center and that shows the reality of conciliation and education in these times of pandemic: children come to class sick because their parents do not have who to leave them with

According to the teacher’s account, up to eight children went to school with a grim face, denying that they were unwell until one of them dared to admit: «Teacher, I feel unwell but my father has told me not to tell you.» . The other seven recognized that their situation was the same.
“They had all given ibuprofen shots and school, but the effect had worn off,” explains the teacher, who points out that they took their temperatures and none of them dropped below 38 degrees: “One was crying because her head hurt. Another because she didn’t want us to call home. The teacher, recently discharged from cancer treatment, called me anxiously and asked me to come up and stay a few minutes for her.”
The teacher warns that this is just one situation that is being experienced in schools and she acknowledges that this, the first after the Christmas holidays, has been the worst week of the pandemic.
“I do not judge at all families who need to go to work to eat and their only resource to reconcile is school. I do not judge that they are terrified and without means ”, she clarifies before admitting that she is concerned that “children are putting the work-life balance of their families ahead of their own health with absolute awareness ”

Teach the value of effort

Nothing is given for free in life, luck does not exist, only effort and work. So it is, or so it should always be. Our society has created for us the false dream that going out in the media, inventing a character or a strategy, we can be rich and famous in a moment. With all this, unfortunately we have lost the value of the effort, we no longer believe in it.
We think that earning a living with effort day by day is stupid, and we dream of a lottery based on lies, deceit or lack of respect towards ourselves or towards others. Many want that moment of glory that makes them achieve everything in a moment, achieve material things.

Are you passionate about what you dedicate your time to?

¿A qué te gustaría dedicar más tiempo todos los días?

Many times we regret not taking advantage of our time and we say that we would need 48-hour days. We all have 24 hours a day and we have to try to make the most of them. Time cannot be bought or recovered. We do nothing with regretting the wasted time. You have to worry about getting the best out of your time. In the end, it is about knowing how to prioritize, being clear about what we want to achieve, being willing to dedicate quality time and sacrificing other secondary things.
The importance of organizing
We do nothing with having plans, schedules of what we have to do and forecasts if we do not comply or execute them later. The thought of doing it does not mean doing it. It is not about doing something whether you feel like it or not, but about doing what must be done at all times. You shouldn’t give your mentally lazy Smurf any rest.
Being productive has nothing to do with spending many hours on one thing. How many people go to their jobs every day to warm up the chair without having too much workload or endorsing their work to others? We must prioritize quality over quantity.
Are you passionate about what you dedicate your time to?
I will try to give some recommendations to make the most of our time.
First. You have to ask yourself the following question: Are you passionate about what you dedicate your time to? Above all, try to be honest with yourself. It is clear that all projects and professions will have tedious tasks and others that we like more. However, we have to see them as a whole, measuring both sides, with the maxim that the positive must win out over the negative. If you do what you like, it gets along much better when it comes to undertaking it.
Second. It is important that you detect what things make you waste your time. What are your time thieves? I recommend that you observe yourself carefully in the execution of a task. Let’s imagine that this morning you were going to spend two hours learning English, with the intention of watching various videos on YouTube channels. In the end you have not dedicated more than 10 minutes to that task. Do not lie to yourself. Don’t let laziness or an anti-change mentality win the battle. You have to write down those unforeseen tasks that ate up your time.
set realistic goals
Third. You have to set objectives to achieve in those projects or professional activities. In the end, it is about seeing progress in the development of the project, execution of tasks or learning something. Logically, you have to be patient and you cannot claim to be a specialist in something in two days.


¿Qué te gustaría tatuarte? ¿Dónde?

Each tattoo has its story, many times we look for ours to have a meaning, this test will help you with some tattoo ideas, you will be able to find recommendations for designs, or areas of the body such as the arm or back, from a mandala to a tribal tattoo.
Surely you have invested a lot of time reviewing designs and you will have doubts about what type of design best suits your personality, where you will get it tattooed, if it will be visible or private, or perhaps you are thinking of a small tattoo, etc.
That is why in Infierno we have prepared this test as a guide so that you have where to start, remember that whether you are looking for a tattoo for women or men, from a star tattoo to a full sleeve, each individual is unique and you will know how to recognize the tattoo that will go on your skin all your life

My passion is I lived life to the sea

Passion is one of the most intense emotions that we can feel in our lives, it constitutes the soul of our own success. We can feel passion when we dedicate ourselves to what we really love and consider most important. Do you dare to live your life with passion?
To know if we are living with passion, it is good to look at whether we put excessive effort into what we do or not, if we pay attention to what we do unconsciously or if we feel the passage of time when we carry out what we think we like.

A sincere compliment

¿Cuál ha sido el mejor cumplido que te han hecho?

A sincere compliment from a well-intentioned person is enough for our day to become a good one. Relatives, friends or strangers can cheer us up with compliments that sometimes take the sadness away from us, thus proving that people have more power than we think when it comes to improving the lives of others. This is demonstrated by a Reddit thread in which hundreds of users told what was the compliment or compliment that most touched their hearts.

be about to go

Estás a punto de emprender un viaje por todo el país. ¿Avión, tren, autobús, coche o bicicleta?

Most likely, if resources, destinations and everything allow me, I would prefer the car: Why? the car is synonymous with autonomy and freedom, and sadly, I still act in an individualistic way, I think I would prefer any other public transport (plane, train or bus), as I feel more within, precisely in a group or collective, as I enjoyed long ago time, a series of trips around Europe, by train

Squash insecurities. Eliminate anxiety. Increases self-esteem

Valora tu confianza en ti mismo.

Confidence or self-confidence involves feeling confident in yourself and your talent, not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic way. This security does not mean feeling superior to others. It is about knowing, internally and with serenity, that you are a capable person.

Phrases and reflections

reviewed article

The 110 best quotes about confidence

Several reflections on the importance of believing in oneself and in the relationships we establish.

isha sarmiento
January 5, 2018 – 16:17 — Updated October 20, 2022 – 14:49 CEST

Trust in others is basic to be able to live without fear.Pexels.

La ansiedad


Occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders often have intense, excessive, and persistent worries and fears about everyday situations. Often in anxiety disorders there are repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that peak in a matter of minutes (panic attacks).

the innovation


We promote a new business model; offering new services and process improvements to make your business more productive.


We add ideas and promote them together.


We honor obligations and commitments acquired with our clients and collaborators. We value the trust you place in us and take our responsibility to protect your information seriously.


We positively and actively influence our environment to achieve our goal.


Our actions, decisions and results are always framed in legality, opportunity and ethics.


We feel absolute satisfaction with what we do; we enjoy the road and learn in it.


We add ideas and promote them together.


We honor obligations and commitments acquired with our clients and collaborators. We value the trust you place in us and take our responsibility to protect your information seriously.


We positively and actively influence our environment to achieve our goal.


Our actions, decisions and results are always framed in legality, opportunity and ethics.

Why is alcohol thought to be relaxing and where did that misconception come from?

After a long and stressful day, I often find myself sitting down with a beer or glass of wine.

Rituals like these are the signal that the workday is over and that it is time for fun and relaxation.

The problem is that over time this way of drinking doesn’t work.

Regular (and excessive) consumption of alcohol is associated with depression and lack of sleep.

And research shows that it can also increase anxiety levels in the long run.

Acia el futuro

Estubimos en una epoca de dificulta y trajedia ahora bamos abansando y saliendo poco a poco de este tormento. Ahor nos estamos enfocando en el futuro para darle algo mejor a todos ustedes para que se sientan bien con el servicio. No dejen atras lo que tienen que aser hoy miren siempre asia adelante no meren atra enfoquemonos en el futuro jutos logramos mas que esto

Mis par de zapatos

Dinos algo acerca de tu par de zapatos preferido y adónde te han llevado.

Mis par de zapatos son mis hijos y me lo llevo siempre con migo a los parques y area de recreacion si pudiera me lo yevaria a mi trabajo para siempre tenerlo a mi lado y nunca perderlo de vista son mis olgullo y mi futuro… Lo Amo

El sostenible bar

Aridio fernandez… Es un plaser mostrarle el contenido de bebidas.

Aperitivo es la compañera ideal que antecede a la comida principal del mediodia o de la cena. Aunque su consumo proviene de una antigua costumbre mediterranea, en la actualidad crece la tendencia a practicarla entre las nuevas generaciones amantes de los vintage. Existen muchas referencias muy apreciadas por los consumidores

Hipocrates, el famoso médico de la antigüedad, creó la primera bebida definida como aperitivo en el siglo V aC? Pues, imaginó que esa bebida amarga a base de vino, con sabor a ajenjo y otras hierbas que elaboró para tratar la